Pregnancy

I am feeling pretty good. We had a scare that this may not be a good pregnancy. My numbers were down. But my doctor put me on prometrium and my numbers went up.

I am more nauseous with this one. With Leah I had no morning sickness at all. I have not gotten sick yet, but towards the afternoon I get really nauseous..Hopefully, it will not last long.

Update: It has been a while

It has been a while since I have written anything. I have been so busy with work and trying to get the house part down just right.

I have been going through a rough part in my life with losing Kathryn. I am still not 100% over it. But I am getting better. I was going to see a therapist for it, but the one I went to just really prescribes medication for depression and the such. i do not want to be on medications. So I am finding other ways to cope with the loss.

Leah is doing awesome. She amazes me everyday! She is so smart, funny and so beautiful. I am so lucky to have her as my daughter.

We are trying for baby #2. But not trying to stress over it. If it happens that would be wonderful.

Today we are going to Nora's house to swim and BBQ! It will be a lot of fun.

The Cemetery

Went to the cemetery to visit Kathryn on what would have been her 37th birthday. It was a very sad, surreal, and happy trip. It is one I needed to feel better about a lot of things. I have been havig so much guilt over her death. I have learned some new stuff from her sister to enlighten me a little more on what was going on with her before her death.

I am sorry I could not help her, but at the same time I do not think she wanted any help. She was going down one way or another. Which is so sad at her age.

I miss her everyday and think of her everyday. But today I know I am not gulity of her death. That she did to herself.

My Thnaksgiving

I had a very nice Thanksgiving Day. I got to enjoy it with my family, which is always so special. Ate a lot of great food. Got way to full.

I had been thinking of Kathryn a lot this month, especially Thanksgiving week. It has been 9 months since her death. I still cannot believe that. I don't know if I will ever some to terms with her death. I hope to and I am trying, but it seems to never get better. Her mom and dad went up to the cabin that they own in the desert to scatter her ashes. She would like that. She loved the desert so much. As i loved her so very much.

I am thankful to have known Kathryn. She was a blessed friend to have.

Disneyland

We went to Disneyland and had such a great time. It was nice to go as a family. Leah loved all the rides she went on. She even laughed on most of them. I am so glad she did not get scared. I can't wait to go again. We want to go when they have all their Christmas decorations up. 

She loves Minnie Mouse. She ran up to her and gave her a big hug and kiss. 

Halloween

Leah had such a fun Halloween. This was her first one actually Trick-Or-Treating. Last year shew as too small.

She actually walked around the whole block and went to all the houses with the lights on. So at least 10 houses. Some of the houses she would say her "trick treat" others she would just put her basket down and let the people put in the candy. It was just so very cute!

Then when we came home, she did not want to go in, so we all sat outside and she was giving the candy to everyone that came up. They all thought that was so cute.

I truly did not think she would do as well as she did. 

Friends, what is that?

We had our friends come down from Las Vegas this past weekend. I need to complain a little.

The wife was going to her high school reunion, that is why they came. They stayed with their friend Manny, which is Ruben's friend too. They have three girls, one of which is Ruben's Goddaughter. Well, we saw them all of 5 minutes. They had already made plans to go elsewhere, while Lisa was at the reunion. Normally I would probably not be upset.

But, these are the same people, that we travel to Vegas every year in November for the girls birthday's. Even when I was 6 months pregnant we drove there. We went to Vegas to see Lisa and take care of the girls while she was going through her Chemo for breast cancer. I called every day to every other day to see how she was doing, if she needed anything. The other people they saw while down here are also the other girls godfathers. The ones who have not gone to any birthday parties, never even remember their birthday's to even send cards or call to say Happy Birthday. I was told never even called to see how Lisa was. They have only seen Leah 2 other times one last year and then right before she turned 1. Al was supposed to be her Godfather, but I told Ruben he better find someone else. I won't have someone be the Godfather of my child who cannot even take time out, more than 5 minutes to see her while they were here the whole weekend.

Makes me wonder who or true friends are? Not sure we have any. When they need anything we have to be there. Ruebn has known Al since they were in Elementery School together. I think it just sucks. Ruben was and still is very hurt. They did not even call to say goodbye. When we go to Vegas we do nothing but hang out with them. So no more!