Kathryn

I have dealt with Kathryn's death in a much better light lately. I am now celebrating her life instead of mourning her death. On the 2 year anniversary of her death, I got together with good friends to celebrate her life. They all love her as much as I do. So that was so nice.

Long Time Gone By

Wow, it has been a while since I have posted anything here. Well, let's see if I can start this again. I need a good place to put down all my thought's, since I do not always do it verbally anymore.

Things have been tough, but I have dealt with it all better than I thought I would. One reason is Leah. She keeps me very grounded in life. There is nothing more important than her!

Work has not changed. I need to find a higher paying job, but no luck so far.

Here is Leah now. She is in Preschool. At a Catholic school no less.

Lombardi Ranch

We went to Lombardi Ranch for the pumpkin patch. It was so much fun. We saw all the pumpkins, also took a wagon ride along all the corn fields. Then we went on a train/tractor ride. Then Leah rode a pony for the first time.

Then we took her to the park. Where she ran around so much and played with another little girl.

Today she woke up with a fever and the sniffles. Poor baby. So, I stayed home to rest with her and get her all better for Sea World this weekend.

So Hard.....

It is just so hard to get motivated to lose weight and I am not sure why. I have gained a lot of weight. Well, actually I am about the same as when I got pregnant with Leah. But I feel bigger. Maybe it is my floppy stomach. I HAVE to start losing some weight.

But how?

So Sad

Well, we had gone in for our first ultrasound to find out that there was no baby in the sac. I had a blighted ovumn. So I had to go in for a D&C, not what I wanted but I also did not want to just have it MC on it's own.

So my happiness went to sadness. I am doing fine for the most part. I see babies and I do feel really sad. I really wanted this baby. We are going to try again. I hope the next time things will be OK. If something happens again, that will probably be the last time I try.

At least I have a healthy, wonderful little girl!

Pregnancy

I am feeling pretty good. We had a scare that this may not be a good pregnancy. My numbers were down. But my doctor put me on prometrium and my numbers went up.

I am more nauseous with this one. With Leah I had no morning sickness at all. I have not gotten sick yet, but towards the afternoon I get really nauseous..Hopefully, it will not last long.

Update: It has been a while

It has been a while since I have written anything. I have been so busy with work and trying to get the house part down just right.

I have been going through a rough part in my life with losing Kathryn. I am still not 100% over it. But I am getting better. I was going to see a therapist for it, but the one I went to just really prescribes medication for depression and the such. i do not want to be on medications. So I am finding other ways to cope with the loss.

Leah is doing awesome. She amazes me everyday! She is so smart, funny and so beautiful. I am so lucky to have her as my daughter.

We are trying for baby #2. But not trying to stress over it. If it happens that would be wonderful.

Today we are going to Nora's house to swim and BBQ! It will be a lot of fun.